stability:

the doritos party size bag says it contains 16 servings but my heart says 1

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 36,910 notes via/source

thechurchofbobsaget:

I think “dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult. Like, I’d call you a dick but you’re not real enough.

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 518,745 notes via/source

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 262,426 notes via/source

verysmalldeer:

nevecampbell:

I just wanna s*** some d***

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 74,137 notes via/source

meladoodle:

my therapist once told me that i have this obsession with seeking revenge… we’ll see about that

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 183,666 notes via/source

bitch-pudding:

myspcefamous2012:

the breakfast club isnt even about breakfast 

you could have at least said spoiler alert

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 199,864 notes via/source

brittanaheyaaa:

rocksfelleveryonedied:

thebitca:

enjolrasthesocialjusticeblogger:

nobodytoldthehorse:

le-docteur-qui:

OMG YOURE STRAIGHT WE HAVE TO PLAY FOOTBALL AND GO HUNTING SOMETIME

OH I HAVE A COUSIN WHO’S STRAIGHT I SHOULD INTRODUCE YOU

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IM NOT A HETEROPHOBE ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS STRAIGHT

OMG I’VE ALWAYS WANTED A STRAIGHT BEST FRIEND!

HOW DO STRAIGHT PEOPLE HAVE SEX

HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE STRAIGHT? 

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 178,881 notes via/source

rollin’ with your crew like

rollin’ with your crew like

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 1,796 notes via/source

easied:

when your bae cancels plans you were looking forward to

image

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 6,035 notes via/source
bear-onica:

shitloadsofwrestling:

One day, that toddler will be telling everyone about the time she went one on one with the great one, pattycaking his candy ass.

the rock is a gift

bear-onica:

shitloadsofwrestling:

One day, that toddler will be telling everyone about the time she went one on one with the great one, pattycaking his candy ass.

the rock is a gift

reblogged 2 hours ago @ 24 Jul 2014 with 21,546 notes via/source